I've been a destination seeker for as long as I can remember—the kind of person who’s always focused on what’s next. My mind was a constant countdown clock, ticking away the days, months, or years until I reached whatever goal I had in sight. Dream job. Marriage. Babies. A promotion. Publishing a book. Hitting a specific sales milestone. Every step of my life felt like a stepping stone to something bigger and more. And while that mindset certainly made me ambitious and productive, it also came with a price that I didn’t fully realize until recently.
Here’s the thing about being laser-focused on the destination: it blinds you to the beauty of the journey. It keeps you locked in a cycle of striving and achieving, over and over, while robbing you of the joy and lessons hidden in the process. It wasn’t until I felt the hollow sting of yet another achievement letdown that I finally paused long enough to ask myself: Is this how I want to live my life?
Let me explain what I mean by "achievement letdown." It’s that feeling you get after you’ve worked tirelessly toward a goal, only to realize the satisfaction is fleeting. The moment you achieve it, the high is over before you’ve even had a chance to celebrate. And what comes next? A void. A quiet, gnawing emptiness that you instinctively try to fill by setting another goal. Chasing the next thing. It's an exhausting, endless loop that leaves you constantly looking ahead while missing the richness of life happening right in front of you.
I justified this cycle for years by convincing myself that achieving things was my purpose. After all, isn’t success measured by how many boxes you check off your list? But with every milestone I reached, the thrill grew shorter and shorter. The regrouping phase became harder and harder. I felt like sprinting on a treadmill, never truly moving forward.
Then, one day, it hit me.
I wasn’t living. I was rushing.
I rushed through experiences, moments, and life itself—and for what? to achieve something so I could move on to the next thing. That realization was like a gut punch, but it became the first step in my transformation. Slowly, I started to shift my mindset. I stopped obsessing over the finish line and began focusing on the journey.
Let me tell you, this didn’t happen overnight. My default setting was still “destination mode,” and rewiring my brain to think differently took time. I started small: celebrating little wins along the way, even if they weren’t "official" milestones. I let myself pause and actually enjoy the process of working toward my goals instead of racing through it. I began to savor the days filled with learning, growth, and progress. And when I finally reached a goal, I permitted myself to linger there for a while. To soak it in. To really relish the accomplishment before rushing off to chase the next thing.
This shift hasn’t just made me a more grounded and present person—it’s also brought a deeper sense of fulfillment to everything I do. I still love achieving things; that part of me hasn’t changed. But now, I see each goal as part of a larger story instead of the end of the road. The steps I take to get there are no longer hurdles to overcome—they’re the very essence of the experience. And the lessons I learn along the way? They’re just as valuable, if not more so, than the achievement itself.
Learning to enjoy the journey has also taught me to appreciate the now. When you’re always looking ahead, it’s easy to forget that life is happening in the present. The conversations, the quiet mornings, the moments of connection and creativity—those are the things that make life rich and meaningful. And when you finally achieve your goal, the satisfaction is so much sweeter because you’ve truly earned it, step by step, day by day.
I won’t pretend I’ve got this all figured out. There are still days when I catch myself slipping into old habits, rushing toward the finish line instead of enjoying the run. But now, I’m quicker to notice. Quicker to remind myself that the destination is only part of the story. The journey—the messy, beautiful, unpredictable journey—is where the magic happens.
So, to all my fellow destination seekers, here’s what I’ve learned: Life is too short to spend it chasing empty validation. Yes, set big goals. Dream big. But don’t forget to live while you’re at it. Celebrate the small wins. Find joy in the process. Learn the lessons each day has to offer. And when you finally arrive at your destination, let yourself savor it. Bask in it. Because the journey is the story you’ll remember, not just the moment you cross the finish line.
